9/11 20 years later: Loss and sacrifice still impacting Gold Star families
DELAWARE – This weekend marks the 20th anniversary of the September 11th attacks in New York City, Pennsylvania, and Washington D.C. Shannon Slutman says although her late husband Chris Slutman’s death happened close to 18 years after the attacks, their family’s life would likely be drastically different if the attacks had never happened. “Chris would not have been in Afghanistan if it wasn’t for 911. There’s no doubt. He was there 18 years after 9/11, and it was still a dangerous place,” said Shannon.
A New Normal
Today, Shannon and her three daughters find strength in connecting with and supporting other families going through similar tragedies. She says without the Tunnel to Towers foundation, many Gold Star families would be left not knowing where to turn. “We are such a small percentage of the American population. But, we are a population that has given so much for our country. It’s some thing that we wear on our hearts all the time,” said Shannon.
Almost three years after Chris’ death, Shannon says much of what the family has left is made up of memories. “That was his biggest joy in life. He absolutely loved being a father, being a family man,” said Shannon. “Our three daughters were the three primary joys of his life. But, he was humble, he was kind, he was not one to brag. He would do things just because it was the right thing to do – not because he needed to tell anybody about it or put it on Facebook or anything like that. He just did it because it was the right thing to do,” said Shannon.
Shannon says it’s that dedication to service and helping others that was a major pillar of who Chris was. “He loved to serve. He loved to serve his country. He wanted to – whether it was serving his community as a firefighter or serving his country as a marine – he just always felt like he could do more,” said Shannon.
High Hopes and Devastation
Chris was just starting his career in service when the attacks happened on September 11th, 2001. He was finishing up at the Washington D.C. Fire Academy, and giving his time at the Kentland Volunteer Fire Department in Landover, Maryland. “I remember him always telling me the story of them waiting. They were just waiting to be able to help,” said Shannon. “That was always a heavy burden for him, because he knew that he got his spot to go to New York City because we lost so many fireman on that day.”
Over the next several years, Shannon says Chris never stopped answering those calls to service. “We were sitting on his bed talking, and he said, ‘You know, I’ve always wanted to serve my country.’ We were getting ready to get engaged and everything else, and I said ‘Look, I don’t want a could’ve, should’ve, would’ve sitting on my couch,” said Shannon.
Chris would go on to join the Marine Corps Reserve in 2005, and was deployed to Iraq in 2008, a week after the Slutmans’ first daughter was born. Fast forward to May of 2018. Chris was once again called to duty, and deployed to Afghanistan. By October, Chris and his unit had their boots on the ground.
But in April of 2019, Shannon and her daughters received a knock on their door that would change their lives forever. It was just three weeks before Chris was scheduled to come home. “His unit was hit by a vehicle borne IED. So that basically meant it was one that pulled up next to them and then detonated right next to them. Chris was killed alongside Staff Sergeant Ben Hines and Sergeant Robby Hendriks,” said Shannon.
Shannon says it was only a matter of hours before friends, family, first responders, and service members started showing up at their door. But that wasn’t the only show of support that night. “A friend of his stepped up to me and said ‘Shannon, the Tunnels to Towers foundation wants to pay for your mortgage,’ and I was shocked,” said Shannon.
A Network of Support
But it’s more than just tangible things like donations and financial assistance that Tunnel to Towers and other Gold Star family organizations provide. Shannon says, sometimes the only way to begin the healing process is finding others dealing with the same kind of tragedy. “When we meet there, just tends to be a connection. There’s always a connection. We can look at each other and go ‘Yep, been there. I know where you’ve been. I understand,’ especially those of us that are moms,” said Shannon.
Shannon says aside from the generosity she received, she’s grateful for the Tunnel to Towers foundation opening up their eligibility for Gold Star family assistance. Previously, it was reserved for those killed in the line of duty. But now, those who have lost loved ones in the course of things like training missions can also get that vital support. “The foundation realized, look, you’re serving your country and you’re training to go into a combat zone. There is no difference,” said Shannon.
Moving Forward
Of course, the grieving process takes a unique path for everyone. But sometimes, those paths can cross or run parallel. For many Gold Star families, the United States’ recent withdrawal is is reopening wounds that have started to scab over. Shannon says if Chris were still alive, he would probably be among the ranks of active duty service members and veterans with mixed, intense emotions over the situation. “I think he would have taken comfort in what George Bush had said about our world being safer because of them. I feel, too, that I think a better plan was needed to get us out,” said Shannon. “That is the part that hurt so many families who have lost ones in Afghanistan and who have lost the time with loved ones in Afghanistan. Every deployment you miss birthdays. You miss special moments. You miss the day to day.”
For Shannon, the emotional scars of losing a loved one to the violence of war may never go away. But she says it’s that network of support that could help them to fade. “They leave home every day, and those loved ones don’t always know if they’re going to come home, which is even more of a reason for us to support organizations that support those families,” said Shannon.
