Taking shelter: the most dangerous step in an abusive relationship

Three safe havens with People’s Place in Delaware help protect women and families risking their lives to escape abuse.

“It’s the most dangerous time for them,” says Marcey Rezac, program director of People’s Place SAFE Program.

It all starts with a phone call to the 24-hour hotline, which provides everything from support to domestic violence information and referrals. People’s Place will then “safety plan” with the women, many of which leave with only the clothes on their backs.

“If it wasn’t for a domestic violence shelter I would have been dead,” says Victim Four.

In part one and part two of our series, the Cycle of Abuse, 47 ABC introduced four victims who wish to remain anonymous. Victims three and four are currently in a People’s Place SAFE Program shelter, which is an ordinary home with video surveillance and 24-hour staff. They operate what they call a “Sanctuary Model.”

“We’re teaching everyone how trauma impacts them so they can heal and really have control over a sense of their healing, we operate our shelters with no rules so there’s no bedtimes or curfews or any of that,” says Rezac. “We really want to give women power back, they’ve lived in situations where someone is telling them where to go, what to do, who they can talk to.”

“There are other women here that have been through some of, more of, less of, different types of, different levels of, domestic violence,” says Victim Three. “If it wasn’t for this place, I’d probably be back there.”

Victim Two, and a fifth victim, who also wishes to remain anonymous, are currently staying in the Abriendo Puertas shelter. It’s a program specifically for Latino women, with an entirely different set of challenges.

“The women that we help are undocumented, which then poses a lot of barriers for them finding employment finding housing and other things that would help them moving out of shelter,” says Rosemary Martinez, program director of Abriendo Puertas. “We have women that have maybe been in the country for six months.”

“The scariest part was not having a place to live and not having any food for my children,” says Victim Five. “I no longer feel that I’m alone.”

All four of the women in both shelters are away from their abusers physically and given the resources to move on. However, experts say, their abusers usually do not.

“He had unblocked himself through my phone on Facebook,” says Victim Three. “When a guy comes in the building, the first thing I do is hide around the corner and look.”

“He’s still stalking me he’s still finding all of my new emails he’s still writing me letters to return home,” says Victim Four. “It’s not a good thing to know that every day I have to look over my shoulder.”

However, that occasional fear is not keeping them from wanting to take another big step.

“I do have plans, I want to be able to obtain stable employment and move forward with my children,” says Victim Two.

“I believe there is life after being abused and life after being a victim,” says Victim Four.

Because of the demand, People’s Place shelters can only keep women for a certain period of time, but they give the women the tools they need to have a future that is abuse-free. We will share the ways they are able to do this and the story of victims who were able to take those steps in the final part of our Cycle of Abuse series.

If you are a victim of domestic violence in Delaware, you can call People’s Place at 302-422-8058.