Life after domestic violence: How victims of abuse are moving forward

“I don’t believe I’m a victim, I believe I’m victorious.”

47 ABC told you this week about five victims of domestic violence.

Victim Two, Three, Four and Five are away from their abusers in People’s Place shelters, but it’s not just for their safety. They are leaning the mindset behind an abuser and how to move forward. In addition, they are changing passwords to accounts, phone numbers, jobs, and their whole life.

“I’ve learned how to safety plan with staff and I also learned about healthy relationships,” says Victim Two.

“Because of these staff, when I show them the emails I get, I then find that he doesn’t want me home, that’s not love, he still wants to control me mentally,” says Victim Four. “He wants me to come home so he can kill me.”

Through her time at the shelter, Victim Three discovered her husband’s real past, which was a different story than what she extensively researched before the marriage.

“I found out later that his first wife and children went to a shelter, I found out later that his second wife had him arrested often enough that he had to take anger management,” she says. “He had it expunged, which leaves anybody out there the next victim.”

However, each victim agrees that does not have to be the case. They want to make sure women who are involved in abusive relations know there is hope.

“Seek help, there are people out here willing to help, willing to provide assistance,” says Victim Five.

“Don’t be ashamed it’s not your fault,” says Victim Three. “At the first sign of it get out, there’s no preacher, there’s no marriage counselor, there’s no psychologist, that’s going to make them stop. I’ve tried them all.”

Victim One, better classified as a domestic violence survivor, says that was something she also realized. While her abuser has since passed away, even when he was alive, she got the tools she needed to start a new life.

“I was a very dynamic person before. You can move on and be a new person, be the person you wanted to be, not the person you had to be in that relationship you had had before,” she says. “When you have children it’s interesting, because they suddenly start seeing the difference in you and start accepting you for who you are.”

Even after more than 35 years of abuse, she is not opposed to giving someone new a chance.

“I’m not out there randomly majorly dating but if it happens, it happens.”