Behind the technology: an unknown form of domestic abuse
One of the biggest misconceptions of domestic violence is that there is only one type of abuse. As technology continues to advance, the ways abusers can control their victims, has taken an entirely new turn.
“If I was there he could see I was there.”
A survivor of domestic abuse sat down exclusively with 47 ABC to share her story, but she wishes to remain anonymous. She was a victim of on and off verbal abuse for 35 years, but it was not until she divorced her husband, that she experienced a form of domestic violence she did not know existed.
“He would not be able to tell where I was and I was divorced from him, he would just show up randomly at these places.”
Through a phone app, at the push of a button, her ex-husband had access to where she was at all times. However, he also took it a step further with cameras inside her home.
“There were little bugs that could pick voices and there were two camera bugs that could be picked up,” she says.
He also put a program on her laptop that would allow him to turn on her web cam to see everything, all without her knowledge. Even her car unknowingly had two GPS devices, one she did not even realize until she got into an car crash.
“We were going through the insurance claim and the adjuster was going through the whole thing,” she says. “He went over and kind of pulled it and looked and goes ‘Ma’am, we cannot keep this on the vehicle, and it was another GPS.'”
Marcey Rezac, program director of the SAFE program with People’s Place in Delaware, says it is a form of abuse they are seeing more and more of.
“Often times women are monitored and they don’t realize they’re being monitored.”
She believes it’s because the technology is not only cheaper, but it’s faster and easier to use.
“You can go on YouTube and learn how to change a cell phone into a surveillance device,” she says. “It used to be you had to have some kind of technological experience, you had to have some money, we’re not seeing that anymore.”
Rezac says through technology, abusers are able to get more power and control over their victims to watch their every move. Sometimes, this gives them justification to take the violence to a physical level.
“He never got me until I divorced him and then it was traumatic I got thrown down steps,” says Victim #1. “It’s one of those things where unless you get the tools and reach out to the agencies that help you, you get stuck in that mode.”
Her tools came from services with People’s Place about four years ago. She worked with counselors to safety plan and purchase all new technology. Her four children also made sure to keep her whereabouts safe.
While the process helped her take the steps to move on, it was not until last year, when her ex-husband died, that the cycle of abuse truly came to an end.
“It was like ‘Oh my God I can sleep,’ I won’t have this person there, looking for the vehicle, or being afraid that he’s going to show up,” she says. “You get to grow even faster because you know that there’s nothing there blocking you anymore.”
The physical and verbal abuse is another angle of domestic violence that it appears many do not fully understand.
47 ABC’s Kelly Rule sat down with three other victims, and their exclusive interviews will air on Part Two of the “Cycle of Abuse” on 47 ABC at 6 on Wednesday.
If you are a victim of domestic violence in Delaware, you can call People’s Place at 302-422-8058.
